Hold Onto the Night
by DreamsofSpike
Summary: All Ted wants is just to not get left behind - and he's willing to do almost anything to make sure that doesn't happen. Ted/Barney/Robin, dark


Victoria warned him that this thing they're doing isn't going to work.

Ted doesn't want to accept it – doesn't want to face the thought that their surprisingly comfortable little arrangement is inevitably destined for failure. He's perfectly happy to continue enjoying the company of his little group of friends as they've done for years, blissfully ignoring the baggage and issues that should be there for him and Barney and Robin, but just don't seem to be important.

When Lily and Marshall move to the suburbs, however, maintaining that sense of blissful ignorance becomes immediately much more difficult.

Evenings spent with just the three of them in the bar gradually become a little more awkward, and without even trying to, Ted finds himself competing with Barney in subtle, small ways – for Robin's attention. And it's pretty clear to him that Barney is doing the same thing. If Ted tells a funny story that makes her laugh, Barney has to come up with a funnier one. If Barney makes an interesting observation, Ted has to make an even _more_ interesting counterpoint.

Ted begins to feel uneasy, Victoria's warning coming back to his mind, and he wonders if perhaps they _are_ doomed as friends, now that Marshall and Lily are no longer around to be a constant buffer between them and the looming presence of their shared history. He tries to ignore it, to pretend that everything is just as it had always been. After all, it isn't as if it matters, really, is it? Barney's with Nora, and Robin's with Kevin.

Until Barney breaks up with Nora.

And then Robin breaks up with Kevin.

And then next thing he knows, Ted is on the roof with Robin, declaring his love for her as if he's afraid that the window might close and he might never have another chance with her if he doesn't make a move the moment he knows she's single again.

He's relieved, and ecstatic, and extremely worried, when she agrees to give their relationship another chance. Of course, it isn't all fun and easy – not when they have to pretend to still be just friends at MacLaren's, around the others. Marshall and Lily would never be able to keep the secret, if they found out. And Ted and Robin both agree on one thing: they have to keep it from Barney, at least until they can find a way to gently break the news to him, without hurting him.

The last thing either of them wants is to hurt him.

However, Barney's tendency to just walk into Ted's apartment at any time of day or night without knocking makes it inevitable.

Ted thought Robin locked the door, and Robin thought Ted did, and the two of them are blissfully entangled on the living room sofa, kissing and laughing and hands in the most inappropriate of places – when the front door bursts open, and Barney comes in, already talking about the latest outrage he wants to rant about. The rant dies on his lips, however, when he sees them.

The look on Barney's face nearly breaks Ted's heart.

The look on Robin's facedoes_._

It's in that moment that Ted realizes – his "victory" isn't nearly as complete as he thought it was. Robin feels more than pity for Barney, more even than the sympathy and regret of a friend hurting a friend. The spark in Robin's eyes – the unmistakable desire and confusion – make it clear that Robin isn't over Barney any more than Barney is over her. Ted realizes with heartbreaking clarity that while she may still love him, while she may have agreed to be with him – she'd drop him in a second if she thought she had a chance with Barney again.

And as for Barney, as his stricken gaze passes between them with an expression of utter betrayal – Ted suddenly realizes that the look he gives each of them is exactly the same. There is jealousy, and hurt, and desire – and Ted can't tell exactly which emotion is aimed at whom.

Barney storms out without a word, slamming the door, and Robin and Ted sit up for a long time, sobered and troubled – talking about the two of them, and the _three_ of them, and how they're ever going to make this right. And somewhere around 3:45 in the morning – _nothing good ever happens after 2:00am_, Ted remembers in the back of his mind, but is too desperate for a solution to listen – an idea begins to form in his mind.

Robin objects, of course – at first. She loves him, she wants to be with _him_, not Barney…

"No," Ted interrupts softly, with understanding and not a trace of accusation. "You want to be with me – _and_ Barney." Before she can protest, he adds, "And he wants to be with you – and me. I don't know why I didn't see it before tonight."

"_I_ saw it," Robin confesses quietly, looking away. "I think – I think he's always been a little bit in love with you."

"And with you." Ted nods, forcing a reassuring smile to his lips as he reaches out across the sofa to catch her hand. "And that's okay."

"Is it?" She searches his eyes, worried and guilty. "Ted – what about you? What do _you _want?"

_You, Robin, nothing else, just you, it's always been you…_

But he just smiles and shrugs slightly, choosing his words carefully. "I just want – all three of us to be happy. And together. I – I don't want to _lose _anyone."

Nothing is decided with that single conversation. It takes a few weeks, and several more serious late night talks – during which time Barney keeps his distance from both of them, and Marshall and Lily beg them to tell them what's going on – before Ted and Robin finally agree to give his idea a try.

Ted dials Barney's number, not surprised when he doesn't answer, and leaves a message on his voicemail.

"Barney. We need to talk to you. Things can't go on like this. You – you mean too much to us." He pauses, swallowing hard, before adding softly, "We love you. Please come to the apartment tonight. We _need_ you to come to the apartment tonight. And after that, if you still want to write us off forever, well – then I guess that's your choice. But _please_. Please give us a chance."

Barney is stiff and self-protective, sitting on the edge of the sofa and not looking at either of them, as they try to find the words to explain – but Ted is abruptly, uncharacteristically speechless. The idea made so much more sense in his head.

Robin saves him, moving from the chair to the sofa beside Barney, ignoring the way he tenses when she sits beside him and reaches out to take his hand. He stares at her through wary eyes as she holds his gaze, leaning in slowly to kiss him on the lips – soft and chaste and reassuring. When Barney draws out of the spell enough to protest, Ted is already at his other side, one hand resting tentatively on his knee. When Barney looks at him, bewildered, Ted smiles.

"I told you we loved you. That's _exactly_ what I meant."

Barney's jaw drops in shock, and Ted takes the opportunity to kiss him, warm and firm and assertive – relieved when Barney responds, raising one hand to cup the back of Ted's head and kissing him back with a fervent desperation that catches Ted off guard.

For the next hour or so, they don't leave Barney enough time or focus to really _think_ about what they're doing. They want him to just _feel_ how it could be, just know that they mean it.

And Ted keeps trying to convince himself that he _does, _that the friendship he feels for Barney is enough to allow him to follow through with this, that the taste of Robin in Barney's mouth when Ted kisses him is enough to convince both Barney and himself that this is right, this is the solution, this is going to work, they're going to _make_ it work...

"Is this going to work?" Barney asks at last, hushed and uncertain in the quiet, dark bedroom, lying close between the two of them, as they hold hands across his bare torso. "I mean – is this really what you both want? Because – I know I do, but – if you don't – if _either_ of you doesn't – then…" He hesitates, and his voice is a little hoarse, a little scared, when he concludes, "… someone's going to get hurt."

Ted knows, deep down, that this is a mess.

Robin loves them both, but she loves Barney more. Ted's just in this for Robin, to tell the truth, because he cares about Barney, really, but she's the one he's wanted since the day he first met her – she's the one he was willing to do this to be with, to keep from losing her to another man. And Barney – Barney's so desperately in love with them both that he can't see past it, can't see the dangerous position he's placing his heart in by agreeing to this.

Yes, someone is going to get hurt, eventually, if they do this. Maybe all of them.

Definitely Barney.

But _Ted's_ going to get hurt, _now,_ if they don't – so he leans down to kiss Barney's mouth reassuringly, confident and gentle, and holds on to Robin's hand for dear life.

He'll hold on as long as he possibly can.


End file.
